Surviving zombies

So I'm working my way through The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brooks. It's facetious. I know it's facetious. I know that, though the book is written straight in a true survival-guide format, it's not real. So why do I find myself nodding sagely: Ah, yes, the tundra would be the best terrain in which to run from zombies, because they freeze! and Hey, further rationalization for purchasing a new bike! Bikes are far superior for zombie escape than cars, which require finite resources to run and can be easily impeded on blocked roads!

Fanbase, it frightens me that there is a part of my brain that is taking this seriously. Even as I read this for the yuks, my brain is filing away tidbits just in case there ever is an outbreak of zombies, and I must defend myself from them. Forevermore in the back of my mind will be the thought that, in a zombie outbreak, apartment complexes can be considered safer than houses, because you have a bunch of other people around and all of you can band together to defend the complex. And I'm on the second floor, which is even safer: zombies (or at least Max Brooks' zombies) can't climb, so all I have to do is manage to destroy the two staircases leading up to my apartment and then, with proper provisioning, I could live indefinitely while hoards of the living dead crowd below, emitting that horrid zombie moan.

And speaking of the horrid zombie moan, it's been known to drive people insane, so in the midst of a siege I'd have to be sure to keep my morale up. Play games, sing, etc.

Then the writer part of me thinks that I should take this idea, morph it a bit, and then come up with a series of self-help books: So You've Just Become a Werewolf; Dating in a Lunar World; The Werewolf's Guide to Etiquette: Don't Bite Your Neighbor. Things like that.

But enough about that. The next section in The Zombie Survival Guide is an account of outbreaks throughout history. Must go glean survival tactics.