Pardon me, your mouse ears are showing

So I'm in the midst of planning a trip to Walt Disney World with two of my most favorite people in the world, my old college roommates. Here we are in San Diego last fall, looking photogenic:


I anticipate looking photogenic at Disney World as well.

I've sort of taken on the role of lead planner since (1) the trip was my idea, and (2) I believe I have some deep-seated control issues, the resolution of which would probably be for me to relinquish control to someone else, but I've enjoyed planning this, so that's not gonna happen any time soon.

But anyway, planning began by purchasing The Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World, which I have now read, not quite cover-to-cover, but thoroughly nonetheless. Example: I now have an idea of how to go about touring WDW with a child, if the three of us happened to have one. I also know that if we were to obtain a Pal Mickey, the best way to go about hearing his helpful hints would be to decapitate him, leaving attached the one arm you can press so he'll tell jokes and whatnot.*

Most adults without children might halt their planning there. But I also ordered Disney's vacation planning DVD. I didn't watch all of that, but I did spend 1.5 hours of my life watching the bits on WDW, and sort of cringing to myself whenever a sentence began with, "Your little one..." or "Imagine your little one..." or any variation on the implication that I, or my friends, should be visiting WDW with progeny in tow.

Then I also ordered the set of customized maps WDW offers free, though I thought my "customization" would be that I wanted them to include all the attractions. But wait! My customization didn't end there: We have "The Helms Family's Guide to the Magic Kingdom Park,"** "The Helms Family's Guide to the Disney's Animal Kingdom Theme Park," "The Helms Family's Guide to Epcot," "The Helms Family's Guide to Disney's Hollywood Studios," and even "Spellbinding Tips for the Helmses." And since I am an editor, I give Disney props for the proper pluralization of "Helms," but they failed to achieve consistency in the style of the headers of the "guides."

So between the "Imagine your little one" statements and "The Helms Family's" guides, I'm starting to feel like I should adopt a child just for the duration of the trip. Except Disney World is expensive enough just splitting a hotel room and paying for my tickets and meals. Sorry, urchins.

Still, it got me to thinking--WDW is really sort of "oriented" toward kids. It's the dream vacation for most family with children 12 and under. So why do I want to go so badly, to the point where it's seeping into my dreams? Twice now I've arrived at the parking lot of one of the parks, but for some reason could never get inside. Another dream involved the Haunted Mansion somehow, and yet another the Tower of Terror, though I haven't been to WDW since I was 10, and the Tower didn't exist back then.***

Why is WDW a prime destination for weddings and honeymooners? Why, in fact, do adults like it at all? I mean, the entire time I spent with the Disney vacation planning DVD, I watched it with a smirk--it's orchestrated, it's pageantry, and I see through it. Those smiling children--that's right before they had to stand in line 2 hours to ride Space Mountain. It's before their ice cream fell on the sidewalk, before Mom and Dad refused to buy the Princess Tea Party set because it's too expensive at the World and can be bought online for half the price. And likewise, the grinning adults haven't gotten their credit card bills yet, or had their wallets stolen, or developed blisters on their heels walking from service restaurant to service restaurant, trying to find one that isn't booked solid. I know Disney trips aren't as "magical" as the DVD presents.

But I'm still going, and I'm still excited. I look at my Helms Family's guides, and I appreciate that it's actually a pretty great marketing scheme, one that makes me think I might like to be an editor for Disney. To think that yes, it is a huge conglomerate, but if it's so popular, they have to be doing something right. And back to the trip, there's so much to do, I understand why people can and do spend a year or more planning these things. And that's what scares me, that despite my semi-cynicism, I'm still getting sucked in.

I've been verbose enough for now, and this is even one of my less entertaining posts. Should anything brilliant occur to me re: Disney, I'll post. If not, I might be able to post a video clip of my friends' and my Disney commentary. We have our moments.


*Visions of our videos featuring discussions with Pal Mickey's head, including a reenactment of the "Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio" scene from Hamlet, but alas, I don't think any of us want to spend the dough on him.

**I should have that little "registered" copyright symbol after pretty much everything from Disney, but sadly am not Blogger-efficient enough to know how to include it.

***Incidentally, after having a dream involving fighting off a gelatinous alien life form, I've had no Disney dreams.