Confessions

Well fanbase, in the wake of a couple of weeks of no posting, and then my two sorry posts, I'm feeling pretty guilty. My blog has been far from up to snuff recently, and I apologize. The ubiquitous "they" say that confession is good for the soul, and so, largely to ease my own conscience, I will make some confessions to you right here on this blog. And if you're a voyeur who thrives on this sort of stuff, great! Sit back and enjoy!

Confession No. 1:

There are times when I think I am a talentless hack who cannot write. Then I think, No no, it is not so! for I have been Accepted Into A Creative Writing Program! Somebody thinks I'm good! I begin to whistle, then pop on over to my blog to review my latest masterpiece.

Hey, wait a minute...

Confession No. 2:

Long ago, during the naivete of my youth, I liked New Kids On The Block. A poster of Joe adorned the door to my room. I saved my weekly allowance of one dollar for months and bought the dolls of both Jonathan* and Danny,** with plans to buy the rest later (thankfully never happened). I even owned a set of NKOTB towels. Now, it's just disturbing (though somewhat salacious) that I used their faces to cleanse and dry my body.

Confession No. 3:

I own a pair of Birkenstocks. I know, I know, Stacy and Clinton would have my hide. But own them I do. And they're comfortable! I don't care if the "style gurus" would throw them away. They're comfortable. Plus I (used to) suffer from plantar fasciitis. I need the arch support! And I will continue to wear my Birkenstocks, so there, Stacy and Clinton. I defy you!

And on that subversive note, I leave you, fanbase. I hope your voyeuristic desires have been satisfied.

*In an ultimately futile effort to impress Barbie (who moved on to Danny), Jonathan tragically lost his leg when attempting to do the splits. He retired to a shoebox in shame. Current location: unknown.
**Current location: unknown, but Barbie*** likes to believe that he's not off with Skipper somewhere.
***Yes, this is a footnote of a footnote. I'm avant garde that way. Anyhoo, Barbie herself was sold a at a garage sale, and so her current location is unknown as well. Or she was given to good will. I forget which. In any case, I don't know where she is.