New goal update

The changing of my about-this-blog-blurb has resulted in no obvious changes to my blog's placement in Google searches of Amanda Helms. Curses. Anyone care to enlighten me as to how Google ranks items?

New goal

Hey fanbase of six (and if you didn't hear that my fanbase has now increased to six, go to my other blog and read all the comments so that you're back in the loop), I have a new goal. Because for all my insecurities I'm a narcissist at heart, I want *me* to be the first thing that pops up when I--or anyone else--Googles me. Currently a search on Amanda Helms brings up a bunch of sites that are not related to me and feature people who aren't me or work by people who aren't me (and yes, I realize it should be "people who aren't I" but I'm going for a more conversational and less pedantic tone here).

And I have just discovered that the top result for Amanda Helms isn't even for a real person.* It's for a Web page that is available for someone who is named Amanda Helms. Now, I could buy that Web page and come up instantly as the number one Amanda Helms Web page, but where's the difficulty in that? Besides, the current page has things like "Background Check on Amanda Helms" and implies that the public ought to have access to my--or any other Amanda Helms who buys the page--driving record, litigation record (I don't have one), maiden name(s), criminal record, and lots and lots of junk that the public doesn't need to know about me.

But here's a freebie anyway: being unmarried and never having been married, I technically have no maiden name.

On the plus side, though, an item related to moi is the second result* that comes up when one Googles Amanda Helms. Go there and you can read a post of mine for a Yahoo group I'm in.

Anyhoo, as part of my plan to be first in Google searches on Amanda Helms, I will be rewriting my About doohickey for this blog. Cross your fingers, fanbase. I know I am.

*Note, however, that these rankings are accurate only as of 10/30/05, 3:47 p.m. central.

My duties as a new resident of Chicago

Since I'm a new resident of Chicago and one who is working to establish Illinois residency so I can take advantage of state funding for students, I feel it is my duty to say, "Yay, Sox!"

So here it is: Yay, Sox!

Is it just me or...

does Cedric Diggory look rather well-endowed in the chestal region (as Bart Simpson might call it)? Fanbase, you be the judge. I'd post the pic here, but there are copyright and bandwidth issues. And unfortunately there's not a direct link to the pic. So go to

http://harrypotter.warnerbros.com/gobletoffire/

Skip all the intro stuff, and then when you see a row of pictures at the bottom of the screen, click on the third pic from the right.

I really am looking forward to the movie, but Cedric's she-male physique sort of puts a damper on things.

Somebody wants me!

...to sell insurance, that is.

I have my resume on Monster.com because I put it up there in the summer of 2004 when I'd graduated college and was looking for a job. Then I got a job and was too lazy to take it down. Then I moved to Chicago in July of this year for grad school and updated my resume because I was looking for a job. Then I found one on campus and again have been too lazy to take it off.

Plus the e-mails I get from insurance companies who claim I am so qualified to be an insurance saleswoman make me laugh, and Gilmore Girls isn't on every day of the week, you know.

The latest one has the following subject line: You Are the One We've Been Looking For.

I don't know about you, fanbase, but considering the fact that this e-mail went directly to my spam box, I figured the spammers must have finally found me and thought I might be interested in a menage a trois, and thought I might be more likely to say "Pick me! Pick me!" if they were able to imply I'd been carefully selected (ignoring the fact that it would frighten me to discover that nameless persons had been scoping me out and conferring as to whether I was an acceptable candidate for their third).

Then I saw the from line, which involved "join-our-sales-team." Ahh, another one of these! Hurrah, I'm about to be entertained for the next five minutes! So I clicked on it, because I always like to laugh at those who think my English degree and work on the college literary magazine and minor writing awards enable me to tell people, "Hey, you're going to die! Don't you want it to pay off for your loved ones?"

The first line: "I still have your resume on my desk." Well, it really continues on from there, but it sounds poignant the way I've got it, doesn't it? I can imagine this person looking lovingly at my resume and sighing with longing. "Oh, if only we could convince the Bachelor of Arts in English person to join our sales force! She is the key to everything, everything! Maybe if I send her another e-mail letting her know I still have her resume on my desk...."

And of course it's the bulk e-mail they send out to every person who doesn't jump at the chance to be the next great thing in insurance sales. But I get to feel all superior because I've cottoned on and I know what they're up to.

So, no, I don't think I'll remove my resume from Monster any time soon.

Redirection

All right, fanbase of four, I've decided to set up a blog that will be my NaNoWriMo 2005 blog. It's

http://disenchantedwrimo.blogspot.com/

There, come November 1, you will find my NaNo in progress. Leading up till November first, you will find NaNo-related stuff, like plot preparation (ha!). So if you have me bookmarked, you'll have to make another one. Sorry. And Nick, you may have to set up another one for Mom. My goal in life is to make yours more difficult.

This blog will probably be on hiatus during the month of November. But then, it has been nearly ever since I moved to Chicago, so what's new about that?

And any newbies, welcome! Do check out my NaNo and tell all your friends what a wonderful writer I am. Unless I suck, in which case I'll thank you to stay silent.

Watch this space!

Good news, fanbase! Beginning November 1, you ought to be able to expect fairly regular posting! Nearly every day during the month of November, in fact, because during my extensive downtime at work today (it's been an easy week--just waiting for everything to blow up) I signed up for NaNoWriMo!

http://www.nanowrimo.org

And since I highly doubt I'll make it to the 50k needed to "win," let alone write anything I plan on trying to shop around somewhere (there are often publication issues with stuff that's appeared on the web), and since it's really just going to be a fun exercise for me where I have no set plans, I figured hey, why not post it to my blog? So that, fanbase of four--wait, it's supposed to be five now, isn't it?--is exactly what I'll do.

I'm sure you're getting all tingly just thinking about it.