Who'd *you* sail with today?

Someone left a Long John Silver's hat outside my apartment door. It was waiting for me after I returned from my post-work walk. And before you ask--the placement of the hat has to have been deliberate. It was shoved into the crack between my apartment number plaque and the wall, too short for a kid to get to without help, and too improbable for the wind to blow it there.

I can only conclude that some celebrant of International Talk Like a Pirate Day realized I was nonobservant of the holiday and thought a hat with the proclamation "I sailed with Long John Silver's[tm]!" to be the best way to encourage participatory behavior. Who am I to deny said celebrant?

But since I don't know who left the hat, I can't talk like a pirate to him or her. The blog will have to do. And so:

Arr, matey. Avast. You call that swill? That be not swill! Where's me peg leg? I'll use it to brain ye, if ye leave more offal outside my door, says I.

There. Mission accomplished. Arrr.